#YOURE NOT GEN Z OLD MAN
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Hey, what do you think about skibbidi toilet rizz, Clark?
❝ you're almost 50 wade. FIFTY ... i have a degree in journalism and writing and have no idea what youre asking me. ❞
@mercred
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what are thoooooooseeeeee
hey get a load of this average adidas asshole
#sue sylvester track suit mf#he wears white adidas not like in a gen z teenage girl way but in an old man way#no one’s gonna steal your cig honey#he’d absolutely vape if it wasn’t for the cigarette aesthetic#…don’t smoke#my art#hws prussia#aph prussia
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"A bunch of gen x'ers convinced Eminem that the woke mob is trying to cancel him so now he's desperately trying to stay relevant by clowning on gen z but it backfired so bad that people are clipping his song to make memes about embarrassing the track is."
I don't even know how to begin to respond to that but I hope the tiktok ratios for him are insane.
#girlbob.txt#51 year old man unironically raps the line 'you gonna cancel me yeah? gen z me bruh?' after being ableist like#hey man how's it going are you taking your vitamin supplements and doing crosswords to keep your brain healthy in your old age
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i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating
#again i do not have enough performance experiences to make any definitive claims about who ''aubery's audience'' is#but i find it funny that any time i show my aubrey material one-on-one to a queer gen z person#they're always like ''i love it but straight people will definitely hate it or not get it''#and i get the inclination to be like. ''i like this thing so people like me will like this thing''#and cishet society seems so polarized w/r/t queer topics it's like. the assumption makes sense#however. whenever i've done an aubrey performance in front of an audience that's predominantly queer and gen z#i've actually received a primarily negative response!! and somehow straight people have never given me shit for my aubrey material#(''well straight allys don't count'' i told some of my aubrey jokes to a joe rogan dudebro and he enjoyed them)#(which yeah maybe could be a mark against my comedy but i like to think i opened his mind a bit at the very least)#i really want to test my aubrey monologues in front of a primarily gen x/boomer audience#bc so far i only have actual performance experience in front of gen z or millennials#and the older people i've told jokes to individually or shown videos of my stuff have really liked it#luckily paul has said a goal for when i'm in town this summer is to get me to perform my aubrey stuff in as many different places as possib#for both queer audiences and non-queer audiences so i can gauge reactions since i don't want to be confined to one demographic#so i'll get a lot of data points this summer#@ paul get me a performing slot at senior citizen pride lmao these are my people#(shoutout to paul going ''jess stop collecting the old homos!'' last time i was in town)#(and when i imitated him and was like ''old gay men are not your pokemon!'' bellini was like ''ok but they may be your audience'')#also one data point i really want to see the variation on is how my one specific joke plays in these different demographics#bc i have a joke that like. it's literally not even about AIDS and doesn't punch down at all#i literally say ''if you're gay and over the age of 50 you could violate the geneva convention and i'd still be like support our troops''#like obviously being like ''you have been through hell so i will let you get away with literal war crimes you deserve ultimate immunity''#BUT. in the line right before the quote i use the phrase ''AIDS generation'' not as a derogatory term but being like.#this horrible thing impacted the entire generation y'know? and bellini and scott and their friends call themselves that it's just the term#but when i said the phrase ''AIDS generation'' in front of my gen z audience i heard gasps and felt like they all hated me#and when i did the same line in front of millennials it wasn't quite as striking but their eyes did widen#like i was suddenly an ''edgy comedian''. but like this is a part of our history and it does inform the story i'm telling#the story i'm telling is comedic but it's grounded in this real world context#and i'm like. @ the audience who was offended: when was the last time any of y'all spoke to a gay man over the age of 50#bc bellini loves that section of the monologue and was offended that people would even take offense to that phrase
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I think we need more stories like Wizard of Oz where a young person wants to run away and gets transported to a magical place but then realizes how great home actually was. A lot of young people more than ever are calling their families abusive and toxic for minor disagreements, and really ageism is one of the deadliest bigotries. It stops you from learning from and appreciating your elders and I think a lot of gen Z will regret this when they're older.
#yes this post was inspired by reservation dogs#i know some people come from genuinely abusive house holds but so many kids think their parents are abusers for normal disagreements.#and discount what their elders say because “lol old”#there's a reason they took children away from their parents and grandparents as a way of disenfranchising indigenous people#cutting away your roots is dangerous and friends are great but many of you would throw away your loving families for a “queer found family”#and want to be raised by a 23 year old man with a dark past#and I feel like so many groomers are going to use this to isolate vulnerable lgbt kids bcuz “found families are apart of queer culture”#which is true since a lot of us were kicked out of our families but I see a lot of gen z kids feeling like they missed out on some queer#experience and like no having your support system be other fucked up people all around your age is Not Ideal and you shouldn't run away wit#stranger you meet online because mommy doesn't understand what pangender means#tldr: found families irl are for people with no other options#appreciate your own family imperfect as they may be.
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We need more AmazingAtheist centric content to get Gen Z men on our side and I'm not fucking kidding.
If you want GenZ Ya'll gotta get comfortable saying the N word and being less hostile towards other verbiage and I'm Not Even Kidding.
If you want the Gen-Z vote you're going to have to focus on the shit Republicans do and not Who to Protect/Stand up for and I'm Not Even Kidding.
If you want the Gen-Z vote you're going to have to "Brigade", Infiltrate, and make a Twitter account, and spam what Republicans actually think and I'm Not Even Kidding. (This is what they've been doing the whole time)
We need to pop these echobox's bubbles through sheer information shoving. If they thought any ideology was being crammed down their throats? You need to show them what that's like but in reverse, show what they believe, what they have done and plan to do, in broad daylight. Go to r/conservative and act like you're excited about a part of Project 2025 that you Know they'll disagree with. Go on Twitter and post under any Republican's page the same thing. Make their Ideology Horrifying And Public.
Make Them Self-Reflect.
Make Leftism Cool.
#gen z#This goes against everything ya'll stand for but sincerely I know this fucking generation too well#We do not have personalities on the left for Gen-Z men. We simply don't#TJ Kirk quite sincerely is the character to play. He was fucking Pissed. He pointed shit out in simple ways. He showed what R's thought and#did. He didn't hold back on democrats or leftists. He felt far more centrist than he actually was leftist with some rightwing shit#That is the personality and balance#Notice how republicans essentially adopted that style of content aswell#Like seriously if someone Knows They Have The Personality For This I'm fully willing to help script and edit that#But ya'll gotta start sharpening some of your circular shape. Ya'll ain't cool anymore and I'm an adult who's unfortunately recognizing#their age. We got old folks. And none of us replaced early leftist/atheist content#It's clearly more complicated than this but seriously it's the age of the internet personality#What TJ did was Not just Bitch n Moan (hello!) he actively informed and Demanded you be better#Idunno maybe my decade(s) old memory ain't serving but what his content instilled within me was#Idunno how else to put this than. Ya'll make fuckers Depressed#TJ made them Pissed#Everyone#That is what you need#Not bitching n moaning. Not depression. We need Vitriol. We need to call people the N wo-#Listen I get it. I really. Really do. But ya gotta make some concessions on this fucking generation they are Stubborn#They'll come to realize eventually but for now honestly we need to focus on getting the male vote. They got a fuckton of personalities to#choose from abd honestly lately it feels like every leftist is trans or gay now and Listen That's Great I Love Them#but MAN is the leftist space alienating for straight people#I've had to pass on so many memes and posts on this website for my friends because much like memes there's too much to explain#And most of them are pretty gay so.#Oh btw if you watch TAA's content today Oho it does Not hold up but it can be adapted
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This tweet is gaining traction on twitter
And people are REALLY mad at op, but it reminded me of how fond I am of delusion shippers. Like yes despite both of them hating Larry, Larry is, in fact, real. Yes Tswift is a bi woman who planned to come out during lover era. Yes your favorite kpop duo are in fact gay and in love. Other people while talk your ear off about parasocial relationships, speculating on peoples sexuality and the existence of rpf, but I say ship to your hearts content.
#the pyre#I actually don't engage in rpf that much bc I will not care about a man enough to speculate on his sexuality#and a lot of women are too male focused for me to even delusionally believe that they're lesbians#but sometimes I remember how big rpf is on ao3 and obviously it's mostly bts and larry and other stuff#but theres this subsection of rpf about athletes#ofc this is very small bc most of the girls who are fujos or himejoshis dgaf about sports#but recently I've been thinking about how much I hate current fandom and want to get into older/less popular fandoms#like I feel like the most of the youngest star trek fans are 30 and even tho thats only 10 years older than me#your common 30 and 20 year old are leagues and leagues apart#and I think it would be fun to kick it with 30 and 40 year old women who know nothing about what gen z is doing to fandoms#so getting into sports just to gush with other fujos about how x and y players are totally gay and in love is something#I could very much see myself doing
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“old man writes about gen z on their damn phones” ?????? no?????? old man writes about the dangers of staying in your own bubble and prejudice and privilege to the point where you’d rather die than let a black man save you????? old man writes about useless influencer-types who are so dependent on their bubble that they dont know when they need a piss???????? old man writes about white people desperately trying to make their own aryan society and staying in their racist BUBBLE ????????
#media literacy is dead#i hate. dwtwt#like im so sorry my friend. the episode meaning is actually right there if you fucking watched it#christ#doctor who#dot and bubble
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*hugs even tighter*
Fuck....
FUCK!
#you is boy#not man#you aint that old#except maybe your soul#idk your soul seems very gen z but also like tired of everyone's bullshit#“get off my lawn” vibes#anyway I'm rambling now
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THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL!
pairings: oscar piastri x superstar!reader.
summary: when your boyfriend wins his maiden grand prix, you’ve got to show up for him. that proves difficult when no one believes he’s dating you.
faceclaim: isabella peschardt.
author’s note: dedicated to the one anon that sent me this plot and obviously to the one third of my f1 holy trinity, mr oscar piastri for his maiden win!!! <3
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liked by arianagrande, clairo and 4,827,929 others.
yourusername: the tour is finally done!! thank you so much to all of the incredible fans, my fabulous team and everyone else who made this possible! this is all for you!
i’m home now and as a thank you, i’ve released ‘saturn’. i saw all of your tweets and comments about when i’d finally let it out of my music cage and now it’s free! hope you all enjoy <3
view all 907,726 comments
user1: SHE RELEASED THE LIVE VERSION AND THE ORIGINAL????
-> user2: YNNIES WE HAVE BEEN FED TODAY !!!!!
user3: i saw her melbourne show. she’s soooo good live.
-> user4: y’all bullied her into performing drew barrymore thank you for ur service 🫡
user5: so many celebrities showed up to the tour. omg. beyoncé, sza, jay-z, the obama’s daughters, ari, dua, the hadids, justin bieber, and so many others.
-> user6: so many f1 drivers were there? pierre, charles and his gf were spotted at the paris show. lando, oscar, george and his gf, and alex and his gf went to the london show. mick and lewis went to the berlin show. this girl has a HOLD in the motorsport world.
-> user7: i mean, oscar always reposts her stuff on his timeline. he’s probably a ynnie and that’s so real of him.
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liked by landonorris, georgerussell63 and 1,123,828 others.
oscarpiastri: got my first win, not too shabby eh?
view all 567,122 comments
nicolepiastri: WOOOO thats my son 🍾
*liked by oscarpiastri.*
user1: obsessed with this man
user2: AUSTRALIA RAHHH 🐨���🇦🇺
charles_leclerc: congratulations son! another win for the leclerc family.
user3: MY GOAT!!!!!
-> user4: a win for gen z.
user5: wym winners are now being born in the 2000s???
-> user6: girl i feel OLD 😭
yourusername: so proud of you! literally cried when you won! i was screaming at the television and everything. my dad got it on camera 😔
-> oscarpiastri: epic, send it to me.
-> user7: HELP?/&/&
-> user8: wym that thee yn yln and oscar piastri text??
-> user9: since when was yn a oscar stan?
-> user10: fr cause she never used to watch f1? she was always a basketball/hockey fan. hmmm…
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liked by ynsgirl, oscarstan1 and 1,727,828 others
ham1ltonshaderoom: after oscar piastri’s maiden f1 win, he was spotted in london with none other than pop’s golden girl, yn yln. they were then posted on a friend’s instagram story, which was then quickly deleted. she was reportedly also seen leaving his celebratory afterparty.
what do you think about the unlikely couple, ham1ltons?
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user1: no.
-> user2: no.
-> user3: no.
-> user4: no.
-> user5: FUCK no!
user6: no way in hell she’s dating him bffr. she has a type and oscar isn’t it.
-> user7: oscar wishes. wouldn’t be surprised if he faked these and paid ham1lton to post it.
user8: i love oscar and yn but separately.
user9: it makes sense a little though. i’m serious.
-> user10: most unserious comment ever.
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liked by yourusername, oscarstan2 and 3,827,882 others.
oscarpiastri: i can’t lose when i’m with you.
tagged: yourusername
view all 728,828 comments
user1: oh they frfr 😟
user2: this is so sweet!!! no wonder she was releasing happier love songs recently.
user3: dating the prettiest girl ever, being a formula one race winner, a future wdc, and you’re not even UGLY??? why did god humble me this is sick.
-> user4: exactly 😭 like yn give us some time!! we’ll get there.
-> oscarpiastri: want some tips?
-> user5: U RSICK MYGOD
landonorris: the grapevine was right. oh.
logansargeant: happy for you both!! and ty yn for giving me the signed vinyl for my cousin!! she loved it 😻
user13: USING HER LYRICS AS THE CAPTION MY GOD
-> user14: SNOOZE IS ABOUT OSCAR????
-> user15: oscar is a bad bitch my god. getting one of the biggest songs written about him.
-> oscarpiastri: 1:21 — sideways by jt 😉
-> user16: OSCAR HELLO?2&/9/9/)
-> user17: MCLARENS PR WHERE ARE YOU?
-> mclaren: too busy streaming ctrl by yn 🎧
user6: i don’t believe it. why would she date him?
-> oscarpiastri: and what’s the alternative? dating you?
-> user7: OOP! 😹
user8: yn doesn’t deserve oscar.
*user blocked by oscarpiastri.*
yourusername: i love you 👩🏽❤️💋👨🏻
-> oscarpiastri: i love you so much more actually 💕
user9: CUTEST COUPLE EVER OMGGGG
user10: this is the year of athlete x singer relationships
-> user11: gonna start singing lessons immediately. JUDE BELLINGHAM WAIT FOR ME!!!
-> user12: i can hit a note on occasion landonorris 😏
-> landonorris: just checked your profile, you sound like a screeching cat. absolutely awful.
-> landonorris: i want you 😍
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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @lennnooshh @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @lavisenri @marshmummy @23victoria @ourlifeforchaos @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @tsireyasgf @landososcar @yongi-lee @maxlarens @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong (oscar specific tags will be in the comments)
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#jayde’s works ☆#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#formula one x black reader#formula one smau#formula one texts#formula 1 x you#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x black reader#op81 x you#op81 smau#op81 x y/n#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#oscar piastri imagine#formula one imagine#f1 texts
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Older
This is for the @6esiree contest that they are holding! I hope you enjoy it, and even if it doesn't perform well, I am glad to have made something long! Word Count 3.5k Alastor x Gen Z Reader Based on Song Older by Isabel LaRosa TW: Sexual content, stubbornness, gen gap, age gap, tentacles, begging
Dying wasn’t the first thing on your list of exciting things to do. I mean, yes, you were a 23-year-old living in 2024, so of course, your will to live was low, but that didn’t mean you were ready for it when it happened. No, instead, death came hard and fast, all because you had some serious FOMO and a quite pitiful YOLO moment.
One minute, you were having a great night out with friends, you had a handsome silver fox wrapped around your finger, and then the next thing, you woke to a red landscape of what you only assumed was hell. With your life, it made sense why ‘Hell’ was where you ended up. You died partying and sleeping with the older man, so it only made sense that this was where you would consequently end up.
A deep sigh left you as you looked at the chaos around you. The only good thing you saw so far out of this event was that you didn’t have bills to pay anymore. It looked like as long as you played your cards right, you could get anything here without needing money. As that thought crossed your mind, an ad for redeeming sinners played on a nearby radio.
The voice on the radio was alluring as all hell and had you questioning your life and undead choices. Not even five minutes into being dead, and you are already fawning over an older man's voice. It's good to know that living habits don’t die with you in the afterlife.
Your resolve not shaken, you make your way to where the voice spoke of the Hazbin Hotel and find yourself at the base of a hill, looking up at a grand building with flashing lights. A shiver runs up your spine as you realize how powerful whoever runs this place must be. Maybe pretending to want to be saved would be well worth your time, then.
Let’s get one thing straight here: you are no damsel; you may like your men older, but that doesn’t mean you need one. No, you are an independent queen who can do what she pleases. She just also realizes when to fold and when to hold her hand. Right now, seeking refuge from the fires and sex work was worth it; however, that didn’t mean you wouldn’t earn your keep all the same.
While you thought about these prospects and made your way up to the door, you noticed it was open without you even having to knock. Pushing your head through more of the door, it was clear to see what type of establishment this was…a chaotic one.
Just standing in the entryway, the sights before you were hilarious and intriguing. A cat at the bar grumbled as he watched a spider dance on the bar. A young lady resembling a lamb hurriedly tried to stop the provocative dancing while a gray woman yelled at the spider. A cyclops laughed hysterically while tossing what you could only imagine was a bomb. A small woman rushed around laughing and stabbing the air while a man who looked a little like the lamb girl walked through the room.
The deer caught your eye the most, though, and it seemed you caught his, too, as he was the only one looking at you and your entrance. You two held eye contact, a shiver running up your spine. Oh, you definitely could get used to staying here.
Nodding more to yourself than the deer man, you walked in further and cleared your throat, everyone stopping to look at you. With a slight wave, you smiled brightly and introduced yourself. “Heya, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet ya,”
The room was silent, causing you to laugh awkwardly. As you slowly backed away, thinking maybe this wasn’t a great idea, the lamb girl came over and jumped on you. Holding your arms and bouncing, she spoke excitedly.
“Oh my goodness, a new arrival! Hi, my name is Charlie. I am the hotel's owner,” She beamed proudly at the statement and motioned to the others all in the lobby area of the room, “And this is the Hazbin Hotel residents and staff! The cat is Husk, then Angel Dust, Vaggie, Cherri, Nifty, my father,” She leaned in and whispered, “Also known as Lucifer,”
Laughing at your surprised face, she pointed to the deer man last. “This is Alastor. He is the hotelier; he helps me run the hotel! Was it his broadcast that brought you in?”
You shook your head at the information overload and laughed softly. Nodding to the question, you looked at everyone around. “Yes, I actually passed not too long ago, and as I was weighing my options on where to go, I heard the message on the radio.”
Charlie beamed proudly at Alastor, who just smiled at you precisely as he had been this entire time. You couldn’t lie. He was drop-dead gorgeous. He was tall and fit, and if his voice sounded anything like how it did on the radio, you would be a goner for sure. He was an enigma and one you knew you had to be careful of if you wanted to make it out of this hotel with your head screwed on straight.
“My my, I am quite honored my radio show was able to bring in a petal quite like yourself, dear,” He spoke so smoothly, and you knew right then how right you were; you were a goner. “I do hope you are staying here with us to be redeemed as Miss Charlotte wishes; I am eager to learn…more about you, miss Y/N.”
You swallowed thickly, nodding. Looking at the others, you laughed and began some small talk while they decided where would be the best place to put you. The conversations ranged from how everyone died to how people got here, and you learned more about how hell worked. Learning that Alastor owned many souls only made him more appealing and dangerous.
As Charlie led you to your room, she made sure to inform you of the dangers of getting mixed up with Alastor. Being mindful of her warnings and the blaring alarms in your head that did not match the alarms between your legs, you made it a goal to avoid falling for Alastor at all costs. Oh, how wrong you were for that.
Alastor had his eyes on you the minute he felt your presence near the hotel. You were unlike any other woman he had seen. You looked young and still full of life, so how could someone like you have died so carelessly? Not to mention, he did find you oddly attractive, and your calm demeanor was refreshing. He wanted you and in more ways than just your soul.
He knew the best way to any woman's heart was to court her and get her to fall for him slowly till she needed him and him alone. However, you were a tricky one to get under the skin of. You were so damn stubborn and stuck in your ways of being the lead in your own life that allowing him any control seemed futile. However, the challenge you possessed was all the more thrilling to him.
It started off simple: He escorted you around the hotel. He wanted to lead you around like a gentleman, but you had your own plans. As he talked and explained a specific part of the hotel, your attention was elsewhere in your explorations.
“Y/N, dearest, are you even paying attention?” he asked you sharply as you looked at the paintings for the millionth time since your arrival. You really wanted to listen to him, but this was kind of boring. After becoming close with the others, you were eager to hear more about their lives than be trapped with the man you swore not to sleep within this proximity to you.
“Sorry, Alastor. Yes, I am listening. I was just wondering about some of the paintings; they are quite pretty.” You were honest, at least in the fact that you enjoyed the paintings. Someone had a knack for art, and you were not shy to admit it. However, when you soon learned it was he who chose all the art minus a handful, you quickly shut down your praise.
The next time Alastor tried to win you over and claim your soul was when he began opening doors for you. He never thought the day would come when he saw someone challenge him so brazenly. However, that was probably the day he fell in love with you, as he allowed it to happen.
“Uh…Alastor, what are you doing?” You looked at the opened door with your arms crossed, your body still midstep from when he raced ahead to open the door.
“I am being a gentleman, Miss Y/N, that is all.” He looked so innocent, but you had heard more stories and learned so much about him from the shadows. He was no innocent man but a cold-blooded killer. You wouldn’t lie, though, that his past and present only made you that more attracted to the idea of him. You wanted him biblically, and it only made you hate his advances more, as you didn’t want to lose your soul.
“No, thank you, Alastor. I can open my own doors.” You quickly took the door from him, closing it and reopening it before walking through. The look on Alastor's face was akin to pain and frustration. He was not a fan of your independent attitude and was willing to bet he could break you before the year ended.
Alastor resorted to making sure you always walked on the right side of the road, that your chairs were pulled out for you, and that your food was pre-cut; he even went out of his way to acquire a simple ruby necklace for you to wear so others knew you were accounted for. However, you were stubborn and not taking on his advances. All you would give him was that Cheshire grin and stubbornly push his buttons by mimicking his chivalry with your version.
When it came to Alastors courting skills and all his advances, you managed to turn them down in the same stubborn way. However, it didn’t go amiss by Alastor that each turn down went from cold and distant worry to more playful and light-hearted jests on your part. Was it possible you were falling for him, too?
He admitted to himself a while ago, just as you had that the immediate attraction you two felt despite the age and generational gap was mutual. He didn’t know how to break you while you were too worried about becoming his next meal, even though the way he wanted to eat you was not how you were thinking.
That was until one fateful day when the hotel was barren except you two. You had sat perched in the library reading some trashy romance novel, hoping to get yourself off while Alastor was busy with his work. Busy working till his shadow happened to inform him of what you were reading.
The book you had chosen was interesting in that the main female lead was a time traveler who managed to end up in the olden times as a helpless damsel needing a strong man to care for her—the complete opposite of what you were as a person. However, you wouldn’t lie that the thought of letting Alastor take care of you wasn’t electrifying; it just went against everything you stood for.
However, reading the book and getting to the more intense sex scenes where the woman is restrained and taken care of sexually only caused you to feel more of a heated desire for the man who had plagued your thoughts since you made eye contact with him all those months ago. Sighing deeply, you flipped to the next page and moaned softly at the words, wishing it to be you. You wondered how long your and Alastor’s game of cat and mouse would play out until one caved.
Alastor entered the room and looked over your shoulder. He was enamored with you rutting into your leg as you read the heated pages. He smirked as a tentacle wrapped around your throat and pulled your attention up from the book to his eyeline. “My dear, what do we seem to have here?” He practically purred, and you whimpered softly.
You were already so close to release on your heel that you didn’t realize the pleas coming from your lips. You needed an older man badly; you needed Alastor—someone who would worship your body. As the pleas left your lips, it didn’t take long for Alastor to pounce on you, his pent-up desire for the independent brat growing.
Alastor wasted no time and already had your sleep shorts pooled at your ankles, ratty nightshirt hiked up your back and drooping off one shoulder. Your inner thighs were slick and glistening with arousal from your earlier menstruations while reading.
Alastor hummed in amusement, bending you over the couch, his cold tentacles holding you in place as he moved down your back. His soft breaths tickled you as much as they excited you. He hummed as he saw your pussy in full view, a smile growing on his face. He touched it softly, slick coating his hand as he spoke, “My dear, you are already soaking; you were thinking about me, weren’t you? Thinking about me taking you just like that man does in that book.” He smiled wider, lining his face with your slick. “All you had to do was ask, beautiful.”
A tender hand pushes down on your back, further squishing your chest into the soft plush of the couch arm, his other hand grasping firmly at the fat of your backside where Alastor’s face is lapping at your dripping cunt. Soft mewls cry from your lips, hands reaching back to grasp his head, fingers tangling through the soft red and black locks, being mindful of his ears. He only grunts in response as he continues his onslaught on your most sensitive area.
What felt like minutes and hours at the same time passed; your legs were trembling, knees threatening to buckle under you with three orgasms already coaxed out of you on his tongue alone, milking you of your sweet, slick nectar. Your quiet, strained cries did nothing but aid the tightness in Alastor’s dress pants, his cock oozing arousal in his boxers, dampening the fabric beyond. Every involuntary shift of his hips causes more friction and tension with the fabric, sending a groan throughout your pussy.
Alastors noises vibrate against your cunt, shocking your overstimulated and oversensitive clit. All you can do is cry out as he pushes himself deeper, closer. his tongue is merciless and selfish as he threatens to swallow you whole. At this point, you're begging for him to relent, repeated pleas of his name falling from your lips as the familiar heat builds in your core, and you writhe under his hands. The cold slick of his tentacles digs into your skin as he takes hold of your ankles and wrists now to keep you open.
Everything becomes overstimulating as the world begins to spin. Your jaw goes slack, and saliva pools in your mouth as it threatens to spill over your swollen lips. Tears are streaming down your flushed face, your hair is frizzy, and your eyes are practically rolling to the back of your head as yet another release washes over you, sending a shudder through your body.
Alastor finally pulls his face away from the space he has claimed as his between your thighs, not without flattening his tongue over your cunt for a last taste gathering all of you he could. The tentacles held you tighter as he smirked and sat upright, admiring the mess he had made of you. A slick shimmer on his face as he licked his lips, “Delicious, better than any venison I have ever had, dove.”
As he stands up, his hand on your back pushes you back onto the couch arm. He kneaded the flesh of your backside, groaning at the sight in front of him. His hands meet your hips, pulling you back on his clothed erection. A small yelp escapes your lips at the friction against your sensitive area. Your frayed nerves against the soft material that soaks up your arousal and previous releases.
You whine as he rocks his hips slowly, grunting as he watches the material dampen quickly before he pulls away from your hips. His movements are hasty, and he does not waste any more time as he uses more tentacles to help not only hold your wiggling form but also get his clothes off him. He liked this sight of your half-dressed attire as he held purchase over you, dominance you refused till now to give up.
Once he was undressed, he bleated softly at the warmth of your puffy, swollen folds as he rubbed his cockhead up and down your pussy before catching your willing slit. He groans at the tightness that welcomes him; the slick, clamping, spongy walls that pulse around his dick almost milks him of every last drop of cum.
Your voice is hoarse, almost gone by the time his cock is sheathed in you, his cockhead brushing your sweet spot as you feel him abuse your need for him. You can feel every prominent vein of his cock against your spongy walls; they're practically ingrained in you as your pussy is molded to take his dick.
A creamy, white circle forms at the base of his cock as he pushes his length inside, his girthy dick stretching your weeping pussy with loud, lewd squelches. He doesn't give you time to compose yourself. He's selfish tonight, unapologetically so, because you had been toying with him for too long. After almost a year of cat and mouse, this is finally how he takes you. You drove him mad.
It isn't long until your backside is red, his hips pistoning into your sopping cunt, the sight of your slick pussy swallowing his red, angry cock so needily, sucking him in so desperately and clamping around him was addicting, and the feel even more so. His pace isn't lovely; he's mean, relentless, and bruising.
"Fuck sweetheart, so needy for me; you could have just told me how much you wanted this from the get-go. Saved us both precious time," he whined in your ear, his cock drilling into your tight hole as he nipped at your earlobe. Claws out, he uses his hands, kneading the fat of your ass, a sharp slap to your skin causing it to turn even more flushed and red as he fucked himself stupid using your cunt.
He was growing more and more pussy-drunk, drool forming in his mouth and pooling in his permanent smile, leaning over to place his lips onto the expanse of your shoulder. He pressed lewd, wet kisses against your supple skin, adding to the marks and bruises from his teeth as his demonic form began to take precedence.
With how hard he was holding on to you with his hands and tentacles, you were covered in bruises. He was marking you as his not only with chivalry and jewels but pretty marks that will mar your skin for weeks. He tightened his hold around your throat, pulling you up to a sitting position. He pumped into you harder, watching your stomach grow with his length in you. He groaned heatedly as he transformed more; his hand was pulling you up while his other hand began pushing down on the spot on your belly where he was poking through.
As you both whined and felt relief, he growled in your ear, “I will make you all mine, my Doe. Not a single person can have you now.” He pushed harder for a few more pumps before you two were spilling over one another. He filled you to the brim, his seed spilling out before he could even pull out of you. With a satisfied hum, he let his body slowly return to normal as he slid out.
You were fucked out beyond belief. He smiled, gently picking you up and placing your clothes back on you. He held you in his arms and sighed, acting as if he didn’t just release eons of pent-up sexual tension on you. He snapped his fingers, redressing, and walked with you in his arms to his chambers. There, he would repeatedly remind you who you now truly belong to. Soul or not, he was the one to dominate the disobedient brat you were.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel imagine#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor x reader fluff#alastor x you fluff#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor imagine#alastor fluff#alastor#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#human alastor x reader#human alastor x you#human alastor#alastor x reader smut#alastor x you smut#alastor smut#x reader#lunarwritings#moons#hazbin#hazbinhotel#hotel hazbin#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart
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unfiltered y/n .
synopsis; two drabbles of y/n being the oldest of newjeans, yet arguably the most chaotic and childish. 21 year old y/n who's very gen z coded and borderline chronically online from a young age.
trope; platonic! newjeans x f!reader, just danielle + hyein bc im lazy
wc; 1.9k
cw; n/a
a/n; guys i think i fr forgot how to write erm so sorry this is dookie but i needed to write something lighthearted to keep my sanity even tho writers block is real rn thumbs up emoji ... also y/n is just me again LMFAO
Humming, your eyes glaze over the Phoning chat. You and Danielle sat comfortably within your practice room, the younger girl joining shortly after seeing you had started a livestream. There was no particular reason for this stream, you simply felt like entertaining your fans for the day. Throughout the livestream, you and Danielle simply talked, being some of the most social and extroverted members of Newjeans, it wasn’t hard for you two to popcorn different topics from one another.
“Did you ever read Warriors?”
“What, that book series about the emo cats?”
“They’re not emo– well…. Actually…”
Both you and Danielle burst into a fit of giggles as you tried to explain the lore of the Warrior Cats series, which then went into you making a powerpoint on why your company should allow you to have a cat in the dorms, which then went into a conversation about how you guys wanted to decorate your ideal home…
When you and Danielle were put into a room together, it almost seemed like you two fueled each other's energy in a never ending cycle. Still, as your laughter dies down, the pair of you decide to just chill, even for a moment. Your attention gets drawn back to the comments whilst Danielle aimlessly scrolled on her phone for a bit.
“y/n, who are your favorite kpop artists??” You read out loud.
Your eyes light up at this question. Before becoming a trainee, you were a die hard fan of many groups back when you were younger. Honestly.. You were a bit of a chronically online kid, despite your social tendencies. Back in the day, you ran a kpop stan twitter, and are well versed in the new vocabulary of online meme culture… as embarrassing as it was to admit the more you thought about it.
After reading the comment, the mischievous and playful glint in your eye was impossible to ignore, and Dani seemed to pick up on the shift in energy. Shooting you a suspicious glance, you decide to speak up.
“Ah there are so many groups I love… But.. I’d have to say Red Velvet and LOONA...!”
It was an innocent enough answer at a glance, but to some, the underlying message behind it was glaringly obvious.
Almost immediately after speaking, in the most obvious and not discreet fashion, you freeze, arching a brow making a curious looking expression at the camera as you pucker your lips. It was undeniable that you were referencing an all too familiar meme within the LGBTQ community.
Honestly, you were never one to shy away from your sexuality. You were lucky enough to know who you were from a young age. (All of your odd childhood crushes practically spoke for themselves. Rain from the movie Spirit, for example. The horse.)
It wasn’t long before the girls caught onto you, and they have been nothing but supportive since. Oftentimes they would tease you over your clinginess with your other members, or how you’d very publicly fawn over other female idols, while nearly all of the light drained from your eyes when approached by a man.
In hindsight, it was a surprise that they didn’t catch on sooner. The way you acted so stiff around male idols when forced to do Tiktoks with them, or how you never entertained their advances. However, it seemed like Some fans did seem to notice faster than your own members, and deemed you “Irene's daughter” as a result— a title in which you wear with pride, might you add!
That wasn't to say you didn't have your own hardships and struggles with your sexuality at the same time, though. Of course, being a part of one of the biggest kpop groups of your generation, you couldn’t express your sexuality publically. Not yet. It was too risky. A large chunk of your fan base consisted of straight men anyways… Potential backlash would be detrimental. You didn’t want to drag the others down with you. Not when you guys have so much ahead together.
So you keep your head low, put on your best smile, and focus on your members.
….Until moments like these, of course.
Eyes practically boggling out of her head, Danielle bursts into laughter, shoving your shoulder with one hand while she covers her face with her sweater sleeve.
“Unnie…!” she scream-whispers, baffled by your words. Of course she knew what you were hinting at, she didn’t live under a rock her whole life.
Seeing Danielles reaction only seems to egg you on though. What? You weren’t saying anything explicitly queer. Only the people that mattered would know. Worst case scenario, you’d be in some odd rumor or speculation that had no real evidence to back you up. Maybe you’d be seen as an ally. Humming once again, you pretend to think.
“Though if you want to know about male artists….” You take a significantly longer time to answer this as Danielle is left a giggling mess next to you. She seemed almost a little distressed through the laughter, but she trusted you.
“I would probably say I like EXO and Shinee the most.”
Once again, you make that damn face, and Danielle throws her head back in hysterical laughter. She grabs your shoulder and shakes you around, whispering quiet scoldings into your ear as you snicker, feigning an innocent look as the chat practically blows up.
[cha3wonz] – HELLO???? [kaheii] – y/n blow a kiss if u like women [luv__newjeans] – okay ally
Unsurprisingly, clips of your shared live with Danielle went viral. Many stan accounts on twitter began to speculate that you were queer, whilst others fully embraced it. Your favorite posts were the edits of you with the rainbow flag followed up by a question mark. It was all too good.
Honestly, you didn’t even think it was a big deal. You didn’t pay much attention to other male groups– you never did, really, but when you looked at the new incoming generation of boy group members… They practically had the whole pride parade following them.
There were a few minor articles about you here and there, but you were mostly off the hook.
Danielle lay sprawled across your back whilst you lay on her bed, scrolling through Twitter aimlessly as she laughs at the comments on your recent instagram post.
“It seems that your fangirls can't get enough of you, lovergirl,” she teases lightheartedly as you wiggle beneath her weight, giggling.
Maybe one day you’ll share the news to your fans, and maybe one day they won’t even be surprised. But you’re glad to have what you have now. Just you, your girls, and your ever growing folder of queer y/n memes off of Twitter.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Hyein was in the middle of a solo livestream within her bedroom, lying comfortably in her bed as she showcased various articles of clothing she had bought with Hanni the day prior.
The livestream was going well, peaceful as Hyein makes her way through several t shirts, sweaters, pants, and skirts of all colors and styles.
Right when Hyein was about to reveal her favorite article of clothing from the haul, loud, almost desperate banging rings throughout the room. An almost pathetic sounding yelp of surprise erupts from the girl before she curiously glances at the livestream.
Leaning forward, she whispers to the camera, “I think… I think there's a creep trying to break in…”
Suddenly, the door bursts open, with a very flustered and irritated y/n tumbling in shortly after. iPad in hand, you collapse into the bed next to Hyein
“Guys, guy, GUYS. The theme was scene!!! What the hell is this?! Look at THIS versus MY outfit!” You exclaim almost a little too loudly as you shove the ipad in front of the camera. Failing to focus on your screen properly, the viewers simply saw a bright white square as you groaned.
Baffled and still a bit in shock, Hyein speaks up, “Unnie, it's really not that serio–”
“This is bullsh–” You cut yourself off as Hyein snorts loudly at your near slip up. Clearing your throat, you grip your ipad a little tighter than needed, trying to calm down.
“This is unfair. And you know what's worse? Its probably some nine year old with their friends voting for them behind the screen!” You whine out dramatically. With how upset you were getting, it wouldn't be surprising if this genuinely was the one determining factor that would either make or break your night.
Hyein couldn't bite back the amused laugh at your seriousness.
You took your games pretty seriously. Even if it was roblox. There was something familiar and comforting about it all, really. Lighthearted games like this played a major part in your childhood— which was, of course, abruptly cut short once you became a trainee at age 14. Now that you were an adult with a job as an idol, you could buy your own robux, buy your own gamepasses and items… and most importantly, stomp on little kids in-game. You were here first, after all.
“Unnie, aren't you like, 21 years old? Don't you think you’re a little too old to—“
“And don't you like— what, 12?!” You shoot back without even missing a beat.
A brief, yet suffocating silence passes as the both of you stare at each other, wide eyed. Never in your years of knowing the younger girl have you ever been so.. sassy to her. You were the oldest, after all. It was your job to take care of her.
Almost instantly, you drop your ipad and tackle the younger girl in a hug, crying out, “BABY HYEIN!!! IM SORRY…!!!”
Hyein on the other hand, was not as reciprocal to your attempts at apologizing. Upon being tackled, half of the air in her lungs practically got knocked out of her, and she finds herself tumbling backwards into the blankets below. Instead of accepting your obviously very real and very distressed apology, she began struggling to wriggle out of your grasp as she yelled out, “NO! LET ME GO UNNIE!! LET ME GOOO!!!”
Though the youngest towered over you by over half a foot, your grip on her was borderline deadly. Squeezing your arms tightly around her neck in an attempt at being soothing and sweet (you werent) you scream at yourself, rocking her back and forth.
“I'm so STUPID im SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY I JUST WANTED YOU TO PLAY WITH ME.”
Incoherent screams and movement was seen from the livestream for about 5 minutes before Hyein tapped your arm, giving in.
“Fine, fine..! I forgive you unnie, just let me go…!”
The moments following Hyein’s acceptance of her fate seemed to actually go by pretty smoothly compared to the chaos that had just ensued a few minutes prior.
Laying in bed together, the two of you played dress to impress while on the live, occasionally interacting with the viewers, but mostly focusing on winning the game. A comfortable silence passes, the only sound being nails against iPad screens.
The pair of you would proudly showcase your creations to the camera, and shared mutual frustration when neither of you would even place despite the immense efforts you put into your outfits.
“I swear to god Hyein, I’m gonna buy both of us VIP and we’re gonna leave these girls in the dust…”
As you prepare to go up for your final round of the night, Hyein suddenly perks up.
“Oh look, unnie! This outfit is actually pretty good…”
“Huh? Oh!! You're right! This is super pretty…”
“…”
“…”
“Two stars?”
“Two stars.”
#kpop x female reader#kpop fanfic#kpop#kpop x fem reader#gxg#gg fanfic#kpop gg x reader#kpop gg#newjeans x reader#danielle x reader#hyein x reader#danielle marsh x reader
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[Random Task force 141 × gen z! member headcanons]
A/N: Reader goes by the codename Teddy in my writing! Along with she/her pronouns :) I am also extremely biased with Ghost so her main pairing is more towards with him compared to the others <3. I know absolutely nothing about the military so this is not accurate I am so sorry💀.
CWs: Dark Humor, Age gaps, Simping, crude humor, cursing. (not sure what else but lmk!)
Chances are, you're the youngest in the entirety of Task Force 141. Just a good couple of years younger than Gaz.
When Laswell brought her in to meet the group, they couldn't help but stare at her in confusion. A tiny girl who couldn't have been older than any of them. Soap couldn't help but chuckle while Ghost nudged him in the side to shut him up.
"This is your new rookie on the team, her callsign is Teddy. Treat her well."
All the men nodded, watching the younger woman shyly smile and wave towards them.
First they realized that her humor was, in Ghost's words, fucked.
Any minor inconvenience had her saying she wanted to be hit by a car or some type of bodily harm, Price quickly whirling around with eyes widened. "Now, I don't think that warranted that kind of response, don't you think?" "Oh it definitely did, Captain." And she'd walk away without another word.
He swears he gets gray hairs from everytime you make casual talk of you dying. He actively tells the others to check on you bc he genuinely don't know if you're serious or not.
Ghost is not up to date with shit, man uses no social medias oncesoever so everything she spouts is wildly out of pocket. References to basic things like tiktok, Twitter, Instagram? He just silently stares at you like you're on drugs. You can't really use your personal phone on base but you try your best to explain memes to him. He sighs and rubs his forehead with a groan of "I'm too old for this shit, teds." "Oh come on! You have to at LEAST know the meme about the marines eating crayons!" "What the fuck are you on about?
The only ones who know vaguely what the fuck you're on about sometimes are Gaz and Soap, despite them still being a few years older.
Granted, they are not caught up with everything but they actively make it a point on leave to try and be up to date bc of you and your mannerisms. Plus it makes you happy when they fire back a quote they learned.
Can yall imagine Soap on tiktok, what random shit he'd have on his fyp bc he doesn't know how the algorithm works 😭.
Teddy has made every single one of them a personal playlist when she does have her phone, Soap once caught her adding songs and hasn't stopped teasing her since. Price and Ghost pretend not to care and barks at Soap to leave her alone but they're equally curious. Ghost contemplates stealing her phone to see it.
Doesn't matter how serious or dark their job may be, you simp for fictional characters, loudly. Price has learned to tune it out, Ghost although slightly jealous, finds it endearing, Gaz and Soap indulge you and will actively ask about why you like the characters you do and how much you love them bc they like to see you excited. It's a nice feeling when they're always in life or death missions.
You're the smallest one in here okay, everyone can easily throw you without batting an eye so they all take turns training you! They all despite knowing you can take care of yourself, would still like to teach you all they know so should you come against a taller/stronger opponent, you'll be okay.
You are the most protected person in the entire squad, esp when going out for drinks, Ghost will put you in the middle between him and Price and basically make a wall of muscle around you. He says he doesn't care and that he just doesn't want to be pestered by creepy people coming up to you but he will literally stare down any man or woman who even tries. He is the creepy one in everyone else's scenario. Soap just laughs and tosses back his drink.
They all notice your ticks and tells, seeing your leg start to shake when you're anxious, when you start cracking your fingers when you're restless, how you will avoid eye contact at any cost. They start to find ways to soothe you in their own ways. Price will give you a pat on your shoulder, sending you a smile.
Gaz nudges you with his body to take your attention off the situation, or he'll simply start asking you random dumbass questions just to see your face change.
Soap will, if he has gotten permission before, just pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, running around with you while you scream for him to let you go. Is also not against tickling you straight up to get you to smile.
Ghost tried to be as subtle as he can be. If yall are sitting close to each other, he'll make sure some part of his body is gently pressed against yours. Whether it be his foot, thigh, hand, some part of him will ground you. You try and reassure him that you know he doesn't care for personal touch but he just says to shut up.
Meeting Graves was a trip, for everyone involved besides you and Grave. Absolutely having no control over calling him a irl Fix it Felix. You were on Graves shitlist and honestly you wouldn't be surprised he betrayed yall for that one comment bc of how angry it made him.
Constantly being told to be quiet, but you cannot help it and will make little quips over comms. Ghost takes after you and starts to say horrible "dad" jokes that make you choke trying to hold back. Soap hates both of you and calls you unfunny.
They realize you're impulsive, especially when you show the amount of tattoos you have.
"I joined the military to fund my tattoo addiction." "You know what? That's not even a surprise."
Going home on leave is always a bitter experience, you never look excited to go home. So one of the guys (usually ghost) will offer you to come with them. It helps 3/4 all live somewhere in England so it's easy to see them/ take trips to their place.
They're all attached despite knowing better. They can't help it and they know they care for you so much more than other force members.
Ghost and Soap bristle when Alejandro makes a mention that he'd offer you a spot in his team, impressed with how you can take opponents twice your size.
"¿Te interesaría quedarte en México?"
"The Hell she will."
-
If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!
#okay this got rambley real quick but hey its my blog i can do what i want#ghost <3#soap <3#price <3#gaz <3#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#gen z!reader#simon ghost riley x reader#soap x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#john price x reader#headcanon#kayla writes <3#fem reader
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tis the dilf season | j. button (22)
a/n: ignore the timeline cuz it’s a mess (I actually tried to do the maths) enjoyy 🤭
yourinsta
liked by fernondoalo_official, aussiegrit and 482,167 others
yourinsta and the summer break begins! thank you everybody for this amazing season, it has been an honor to work as your engineer this season and looking forward to the next!
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jensonbutton ❤️
liked by yourinsta
aussiegrit buy jenson some sunscreen, please.
yourinsta 😭 on it
lewishamilton 👊 thank you
yourinsta back to you 🫶
username yn try not to post your man challenge, she failed.
username PLEASE
username I come back to this post religiously everyday
username what am I supposed to watch now that my favorite grid is off for their summer break 😭
username PLEASEEE I need yn and jenson radio for life 😩
username this post was like 6 years ago????
username HE WAS 37!!! SHE WAS JUST BARELY in her 20s
username they didn’t date yet 🤷♀️
username Maybe because he WAS planning on it. creeps me out ngl
username shut up. I love my dilf and gen z duo
yourinsta
liked by lewishamilton, jensonbutton and 386,627 others
yourinsta wdym you guys won’t play mermaids with us??? 👎
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jensonbutton I deeply apologise. dinner, my treat.
yourinsta deal 😊🫶
username OMFG??? IT WAS NOT EVEN A QUESTION
username BRO who doesn’t play mermaids?
username duh, it’s childish asf
username blocked. bye.
username YN IS ON A HOLIDAY WITH JENSON AND MARK???
username she’s just using them to get her mclaren engineering position 🤷♀️
username their age gap is questionable
username EXCUSE ME?? have you seen the last 5 years of F1 championships? yeah, that’s miss girly there. stay mad, boohoo
username are we, as a SOCIETY, expecting a dilf to play mermaids?
username Yes. Stay mad
username OBVIOUSLY
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jensonbutton: what is a 0.5? also, garage in 10 minutes, darling.
: it’s a secret 🤭
: okieee
jensonbutton: quickly then ♥️
f1gossips
liked by username, username and 37,101 others
f1gossips yn ln was seen entering the paddock and completing her track walk for the mclaren team grand prix this weekend. jenson button not spotted near or anywhere today.
admin, reported.
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username miss gurl came straight back from summer break to work, grind that grind gurl.
username she’s just doing her job?
username you hatin for no reason??
username THE ENGINEER IS BACK IN DA HOUSE
username she’s everything and he’s just a ken 🤷♀️
username I’ll take jenson any day if she doesn’t want him 😩
username GIRL IKRR
username PLEASE TELL ME MY PARENTS ARE STILL TOGETHER
username somebody TELL ME why jenson is wearing a fireproof in yn’s story???
username exactly!! I thought he is still doing sky news
username GURL PLEASE TELL ME JENSON IS COMING BACK THIS SUNDAY
username I manifestt 😩 it’s wednesday, we can still do ittt
username NOT WITH THE OLD FIREPROOF AND EVERYTHING IN HER STORY 🗣🗣
jensonbutton
liked by mclaren, yourinsta and 696,517 others
jensonbutton it’s great to be back on the grid. (and to be working with my favourite engineer again. ♥️) yourinsta
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yourinsta thank you, mr. button ✌️
username mrs. button when??
liked by jensonbutton
username SHUT THE FUCK UP. HE LIKED IT
username jenson returning as a driver WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD
username IKRRR (I manifested it, yw guys)
yourinsta
liked by aussiegrit, jensonbutton and 503,871 others
yourinsta happy birthday to my (second) favorite news reporter and some driver I guess 🤭 aussiegrit !!
thanks for taking care of my brit! have fun in the retirement gang, hope to see you soon!
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aussiegrit cheers! 😁
yourinsta 🫶
username she can’t even post a happy birthday post without jenson 🙄
username ikr? give some respect
username tell me you’re new without tell me you’re new
username Exactlyyy. it has been the longest running joke that mark’s the third wheel. why are y’all getting mad for nothing 🤷♀️
jensonbutton
liked by yourinsta, sebastianvettel and 472,106 others
jensonbutton pretty sure it was her idea.. (love you ♥️)
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yourinsta it was mark’s 😔✊
jensonbutton you’re kidding, darling
yourinsta 🤭 maybe
username couples do couples poseee
username she’s definitely pr training him for lifeee
username if they break up idk what to do
username I’ll take him any day GURLL 🤭
username I need someone to call me darling like Jenson does
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yourinsta
liked by jensonbutton, danielricciardo and 452,627 others
yourinsta race dump, and you’re welcome for the surprise guest this weekend 😚
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username EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU MISS GURL
okay…I started simping for him because of a tiktok edit 🤷♀️
like, reblog, COMMENTT if you liked it 😚 if not, then why not?
today’s a great day to take care of yourself!!
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rubyyy i have an idea for your gen-z driver series! when you are free, maybe you can write about when lil miss just got into f1 and had many people doubted her just for her to nail her rookie season like the goat sir Lewis Hamilton did in his. feel free to tweak it however you want. I just thought it would be cool to see more off the racing side of gen-z driver. :))))
and i really enjoy your writings, keep them coming but also don't stress out too much about them as well :)
WELCOME TO THE STRANGE WORLD
pairings: f1 grid x driver!reader
warnings: sexism. swearing. based this one on the 2018 grid, cause I imagine her joining the grid that year. christian horner & helmut marko.
author's note: this got me immediately inspired!! It's also the first time I tackle the racing aspect of the series so I hope it's a bit accurate and that it is enjoyable x
• • • • • • •
''Do you feel the pressure going into this week's race?'' The reporter asked her, a polite smile on his face.
Y/N carefully adjusted the mic attached to her cheek. ''Uh, definitely,'' she nervously chuckled as it was her first F1 press conference, ''there have been a lot of reactions, both negative and positive, so I do feel a lot of eyes on me at the moment.''
To say that there had been a lot of reactions was an understatement. The announcement of the female race car driver joining the F1 grid had become the #1 topic on several social media platforms and even international news channels had broadcasted about the ''controversial'' arrival of the young woman.
Various notable figures in the motorsport world had also voiced their opinion on the new face on the grid. There were many positive reactions, for example, Mercedes Team Principal Toto Wolff saying: ''It's a step in the right direction. Many young girls will see her race and get more interested in the sport, which will hopefully motivate them to start karting.''
Susie Wolff, former development driver for Williams, also showed her enthusiasm. ''I think Y/N is the perfect role model for all the young girls who watch F1 at home. We've been following her closely the last few years and she's proved that she can compete with the big guys, I'm very proud and I can't wait for her performances this season.''
Unfortunately, there had also been less positive feedback. Red Bull Motorsport advisor, Helmut Marko, had questioned whether she would be able to handle the ''physicalities'' the sport asked of a driver. ''I hope I'm wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if she would be replaced by the second race.''
His Red Bull colleague, Christian Horner, had also made some sensitive comments about the young woman. He recalled his first meeting with her, stating he thought she was one of the grid girls and that it would be tough as she's ''entering a man's sport''.
Y/N had been upset with key figures of the sport making such statements about her, but she had heard worse throughout her racing career. Men like Horner were stuck in old times.
''Sebastian, how do you feel about a female joining F1?'' Both Y/N and Sebastian internally cringed at the rookie being referred to as a 'female', trying to not let it show on their faces.
The German collected the right words before answering. ''I'm very happy that Y/N is sitting here next to us,'' he smiled at her, ''I think her being on the grid and competing alongside us, is going to bring a lot of positive changes that should've been happening a long time ago. I've known her for some years now, so maybe I'm biased, but I couldn't think of a better person joining the line-up.''
''Thank you.'' Y/N mumbled, grown shy by Sebastian's praises. He had been involved in her career since her humble karting beginnings, wanting to guide her as he knew a lot of people would try to stop her from flourishing in the sport.
The journalist then put his focus on the other world champion sitting at the panel. ''Lewis, you share the same opinion as Sebastian?''
''I agree with Seb, it's nice to see that progress is being made in diversing the sport and she's here, because she deserves to be here.'' Lewis' answer showed his disagreement with the people who were convinced that the woman's arrival to F1 was nothing more than a statement to the FIA.
Y/N wasn't ignorant and knew her claiming an F1 seat would bring a lot of publicity, not only to her, but her team as well. However, they wouldn't risk losing millions of euros, because they simply wanted to make a point that women can competitively drive as well.
''I've seen her drive, we've all seen her drive and you can't deny that she has a huge talent.'' Lewis concluded his answer, sending a soft smile her way.
The reporter who asked the question directed his attention back to the young woman. ''Y/N, it must be great to hear those positive words from such seasoned drivers.'' He said to her, his hands pointing towards the two World Champions.
She shyly nodded her head, feeling the gazes of everyone in the room on her. ''Yeah, it's, uh, very nice of them.''
''It's the truth.'' Sebastian chuckled.
''That's P11 tomorrow, Y/N! Good job, we're proud of you over here.'' Her engineer announced over the radio, letting the driver know her qualifying session was over.
She pressed her radio button. ''Thank you so much, guys! A good start!'' She enthusiastically exclaimed, delighted about her team being happy with quali.
They had greeted her back into the garage with an applause and many headpats, congratulating her on her first ever F1 qualifier. ''Let's discuss now.'' Her coach put his arm around her shoulder and guided her to the team's briefing room.
It hadn't lasted long. The team was overall very satisfied with how the qualifying session had gone and didn't have much feedback for the rookie.
''Of course it would be great to score points, but finishing P11 is the realistic standing tomorrow.'' Her team principal's words had taken her by surprise, expecting them to want to score as many points as possible at the race tomorrow.
Y/N wasn't too sure if that was the genuine opinion her team had about the next day or if they thought that she wouldn't be able to make any overtakes. Whatever it was, the dilemma clouded her mind as she walked through the paddock, ready to go back to her hotel and unwind.
However, an arm pulled her out of her thoughts, making the rookie flinch at the sudden touch. ''What the heck,'' she hastily turned towards the person, ''Seb, don't scare me like that.'' Y/N calmed down seeing the German man grinning at her, Britta standing next to him.
''You looked like you were overthinking.'' He had seen the frown on her face as she passed the Ferrari hospitality, immediately knowing something was on her mind. ''Starting P11 is good for your first race, the best of the rookies.'' Sebastian figured it was related to the qualifying session.
''No, I'm happy with my starting position.'' She assured him, shaking her head.
The Ferrari driver furrowed his eyebrows, being confused. ''Then what is it? Did someone say something to you?''
Y/N glanced around the paddock, making sure no one of her team or a reporter was standing near them. ''I just, uh, well- during the briefing, they basically said that they don't expect me to make any overtakes and that I just need to try to keep my position.'' She explained to the duo, both listening attentively.
''They're already underestimating you?'' Britta commented, shocked they wouldn't encourage her to at least try to overtake as many cars as she can.
Sebastian agreed with his friend. ''A team telling their driver to not score points is the weirdest thing I've heard in years.'' He said to Britta, a frown gracing his face.
He turned towards the young woman. ''Don't listen to them, okay? You pass as many fucking cars as you can, alright?'' It almost looked like he was scolding her.
The girl nodded her head, an appreciative smile on her face. ''You know I will.''
''I love the confidence.'' Britta laughed, patting her back.
''Don't think about it too much, Y/N. You're gonna do great tomorrow, I'm sure of it.'' Sebastian ruffled her hair, a sincere tone in his voice.
Y/N simply smiled at both of them, and thanked them for their support. ''I'm gonna go back to my hotel now, but I'll see you tomorrow then.'' She bid them goodbye, waving as she walked through the exit gates.
She could see and feel the condescending stares as she waited on the grid before the start of the race, some people didn't know how to be subtle. She had her headphones on, blasting music through them so she could drown out all of the negative thoughts.
A tap on her shoulder brought her eyes from the ground to the face of a semi-looking concerned Kimi. She paused her song and took the headphones off, ready to listen to what the older man had to say. ''Yeah?''
''I can hear your song.'' Kimi pointed at his own ears, visualizing his words.
Y/N's eyes widened, her worried expression altering into one of embarrassment. ''Oh, sorry, I'll turn it down.'' She apologized, immediately grabbing her phone to change the volume.
''No, uh, is okay,'' he told her, ''you good?''
She was stunned by his question, awkwardly staring at him for a few seconds before answering. ''Yes, I'm good.'' Kimi always kept it short, she figured she should do the same.
''Don't be nervous,'' the Finnish driver continued, looking into her eyes, ''people want to see you do bad, prove them wrong.''
She had met the man a handful of times before, but they had never talked this much with each other. Kimi kept to himself and she wanted to be respectful of that, not wanting to accidentally cross one of his boundaries.
He wasn't a man of many words (at least sober) so she appreciated his advice very much, knowing he wouldn't tell her this if he didn't think she could actually prove them wrong.
''Thanks.''
''No worry.'' A small assuring smile was found on his face, making the grimaces of her critics seem like nothing.
''Y/L easily passes the Renault, moving up to P10.'' The commentary of David Croft sounded as she overtook Sainz, going from P11 to P10.
Her team's pit crew cheered in the garage, watching the spectacle on the screen. ''Keep pushing, Y/N! We're in the points.'' Her engineer told her over the radio.
''Hehe, understood.'' She chuckled, proud of her smooth overtake.
She managed to pass the Mclaren of Vandoorne in the same lap, falling behind the Mercedes of Bottas and the Renault of Hulkenberg who was doing his best to keep his seventh position in the race.
The pair was too busy challenging each other that they didn't see the car of the female driver coming through, passing both of them when they left a gap. ''Y/L jumps ahead of both of them! She jumped Bottas and Hulkenberg, moving up to P7! What a stellar performance of the rookie driver!''
People couldn't believe their eyes as she passed the Mercedes, undoubtedly one of the fastest cars on the grid compared to her team's midfield one.
''Bloody amazing, Y/N! The Red Bull is too far up to catch, but defend for your life now!'' P6 wasn't possible anymore as she went into the last lap, Max's car being quicker and having fresher tyres than her.
The last lap almost went by in a haze, the young woman scared something would ruin the beautiful moment for her, but that never came. ''Y/N Y/L comes across the line to celebrate her dream debut and she becomes the first woman in over 40 years to score points in a Grand Prix!''
She parked her car behind Max's, her hands on her helmet as if it were her head. Y/N sat in disbelief as reality dawned on her. You scored points in your first F1 race, the sentence played on a loop in her head.
''Oi! Little Miss scoring points on her debut!'' An Australian accent pulled her out of her thoughts, several pats on her helmet making her look up. ''You passed the Mercedes? Fucking amazing!'' He exclaimed as he saw the silver car parked behind her.
''Daniel, can you help me get out? My body is in shock, I think.'' Y/N awkwardly chuckled, a bit embarrassed about not being able to get out of her car on her own at the moment.
Fortunately, the Red Bull driver didn't see the big problem and helped her stand up, supporting her underarms.
The support turned into a congratulating hug, the Australian swaying her side-to-side. ''Welcome to Formula One, baby!'' He loudly exclaimed.
Y/N laughed at his antics, touched by his excitement for her good result. ''Thanks, Ricciardo.''
''Good overtake there.'' Valtteri patted her helmet with his hand, complimenting her. She bowed her head in appreciation. ''Thank you.''
Her and Daniel followed the Mercedes driver into the cooldown room, the latter handing her an ice-cold water bottle from the table. ''What place did you get?'' Y/N asked Daniel, turning to him.
''P4,'' he sighed, ''but I got fastest lap, so a little redemption.'' The Red Bull driver laughed it off, at least happy he got an extra point for the championship standings.
A pat on her back made her look back, being met with a sweaty Charles. ''Hey, man.'' She greeted him with a side-hug.
''Saw you got P7, congrats.'' The pair had been teammates the year before at Prema Racing so they have a good friendship with each other. ''Thanks, how did it go for you?'' Y/N was curious about her fellow rookie's debut race.
He shrugged his shoulders. ''P13, but only because 5 people retired.'' Charles downplayed it, glimpsing at the ground.
''Cheer up, Charlito! It's only the first one of the season.'' She tried comforting him, not wanting him to be down about his result.
Charles just smiled and moved on, ready to go back to his team and discuss everything. The rest of the drivers, except the top 3, followed swiftly. Y/N received a grand welcome back in her garage, it almost seemed like she had won the World Championship. She had a brief discussion about the race and her team prepared her for the post-race interviews.
Surprisingly, the interviews had gone well and not one discriminating question was asked. She mainly received a lot of congratulations and one female reporter even thanked her for her race performance as it would inspire many young girls watching it. Y/N had almost teared up during the specific interview, not expecting anyone to do that.
The rookie was walking to her driver's room when a call of her name stopped her in her tracks. Lewis jogged up to her, greeting her with a big embrace. ''Good job, you did so well!'' He told her with a huge smile on his face.
''Thank you, Lewis.'' Her head felt warm, the older man making her a little flustered.
''And this is only the beginning, you know? You showed everyone today that you deserve to be here, truly amazing!'' He continued praising her.
Y/N grinned at him. ''Thank you so much, that means a lot to me.''
''The three of us were watching it back in the cooldown room, like waiting to see in which position you came in.'' Him, Sebastian and Kimi had attentively observed the screen that replayed the race, interested in knowing how the young woman had performed.
She was touched by Lewis' words, honored that three World Champions had looked out for her and wanted to know her result. ''Oh my god, that's- wow, that's really cool.'' Y/N awkwardly laughed, not knowing how to give a proper response all of a sudden.
''Anyway, congrats and celebrate it well,'' he made a move to leave before visibly remembering something, ''oh, yeah, Seb asked me to tell you that he'd come by your driver's room.'' Lewis conveyed Sebastian's message.
''Oh, great, I'll, uh, see you in two weeks then.'' She bid him goodbye and she was on her way again, hoping the German wasn't already waiting for her there.
Fortunately for her, Sebastian wasn't there yet and she had the time to change into her casual wear so she could leave the circuit and go straight to the airport afterwards to go back home.
Three knocks on her door stopped her scroll through social media and she called for her guest to come in, not having the energy to get up from her couch.
She watched an energetic Sebastian walk into her driver's room, practically running to give her a hug. ''I told you that you could do it! P fucking 7!'' He exclaimed, excitedly.
''Congrats to you for winning!'' She retorted back, not having had the chance yet to congratulate him on his GP win.
''Thank you, honey.'' He sat down next to her on the couch.
''I would have loved to see the faces of everyone on your team the moment you passed Carlos, it must have been priceless.'' Sebastian smirked, thinking of what she had told him the day before. ''And the double overtake? You couldn't have had a better race.''
''Oh my god, I couldn't believe it, Seb! Like I finished in front of a Mercedes? Wow, just wow!'' Sebastian laughed at her enthusiasm, imagining how great she must feel now.
The winner of the day scratched his voice. ''Kimi said how nervous you looked before the race and I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit worried about you,'' he had lowered his voice, different from his loudness of before, ''but you dealt with the pressure perfectly and you didn't let it affect your race. I'm very proud of you.'' His sincerity and expression of pride almost brought tears to her eyes, the words of her idol and mentor meaning a lot to her.
''Thank you, Seb,'' a shy smile graced her face, ''that means a lot to me, I couldn't have done it without you.'' She thanked him.
''No, it was your hard work that got you here.'' He argued, not wanting to take any sort of credit for her accomplishments. ''And maybe a little of my money, but you know.'' Sebastian jokingly added, not able to help himself from teasing the younger one.
Y/N rolled her eyes at the comment. ''Always so humble! Red Bull Seb made an appearance for a second there.''
''He's still in here, I just need to keep him in check.''
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I loved your gen-z!overlord! headcannon! What about the same character X Alastor or X the Vees! I liked how you wrote a bit about the character with Rosie!
Added Carmilla for funies
Alastor
• You constantly make fun of his oldness when he moved to the hotel
• He finds you entertaining and annoying, would've killed you in the beginning if Rosie wasn't already found of you.
• Thought you had the same idea with the hotel.
• Figured out quickly when he brought it up and you got pissed at him.
• Bounds over his interests of the chaos you make.
• Found out his disinterest with relationships and more physical stuff quickly
"Oh so you're AroAce? Cool."
"What are the words you just say?"
• Trying to get him to know what certain slag is from your time, nows use it incorrectly to fuck with you.
• Minus after his tussle with Pentious.
"I yeeted him, correct?"
"Ahhh! Yes! Ahaha!"
• Shown you some Overlord powers that you had no idea that you had.
• Accidentally blow up the wall a few times.
• Calls you dear child or little annoying one. Depends on his mood.
• Calls him old man to annoy him or weird ass deer man when he pissed you off.
• Decided you're a good allie after finding you laughing at what he did with Vox.
"The TV was buffering, that was really funny and good."
"Thanks for the compliments, my dear.
• Didn't change the fact when you were ready to kill him for making a deal with Charlie.
The Vees-
• The only one you on the good side is Velvette
• Vox and Valentino just keeps nice with you not to get Velvette pissed at them.
• You've tried to change the channel on Vox's face once. You're not allowed to hold any remote when visiting anymore.
• You made fun of Vox after his fight with Alastor.
"You were buffering! Guess you overheated?"
"Oh fuck off."
• Have a business deal for your territory to get Vox's stuff for cheap.
• Told him about the advancement that happening before you died.
• And had to endures something for him after Velvette dressed you up.
"Hating everything right now."
• But he is the only one that makes TV or well anything with Technology
• Everyone keeps you away from Valentino after you heard how he treats Angel Dust.
"I just want to talk with him, I just want to kill him."
• You had already didn't like him anyway.
• Creepy ass Moth motherfucker is the only 'nickname' you call him
• Valentino enjoys making you uncomfortable
• If he cross a line, you are killing him
• But then he holds Angel Dust soul above you so you don't actually kill him.
• Doesn't mean you wouldn't hurt him
• He eventually tries not to cross the line, tried of getting beaten by a child according to him.
• Velvette is the only reason you vist, mostly to her studio.
• Being a backup model when she wants you too, only in private.
• Refusing to actually model infront of people.
"I would die... again."
"Don't be dramatic about it."
• Gives you clothes that are in at the moment if you hang out in public
• Understand most of your references
• Willing to fuck someone up if they give you a weird look when she's with you.
• They all hates that you go to the Overlord meeting
• Does enjoy when you spill some tea about what happens
• You're cool enough to associate with the Vees but not enough to be one, not that you would join when you only get along with one and half of them.
Carmilla Carmine-
• Has a motherly instinct with you even though you're powerful enough to be an Overlord.
• You mostly come over to hang out with her daughters, whose usually busy working so you end up helping them.
• Ends with her mothering you when she mothers her daughters.
• Teaches you how to fight after seeing fighting so recklessly.
• Only because someone tried to fight you when her and her daughters were around.
• One of the Overlords that has been in your territory, enjoys how you keep it orderly.
• Surprised with how you run your deals and with how many Sinners come to you for help.
"Oh that was less than normal, you probably scared a few of them away."
• Makes sure your kindness isn't viewed as weakness to anyone.
• Doesn't let you cause any chaos in her presence.
• She gives you a stare that reminds you of your own mother/guardian.
• Causing you to stop before you even start.
• Odette and Clara enjoy your company, reminds them of a less annoying sibling.
• Checks up on you after exterminations, will invite you to wherever they hide but you don't usually don't leave your territory during
• Doesn't like that you get along with Velvette or any of the Vees.
• You were there when the exterminators showed up, ready to go all demon on them to buy time before Camilla showed up, Clara and Odette had to make sure you didn't still tried to fight by pulling you away with them.
• Sheltering them in your own hiding place for the rest of the time.
• Sworn to secrecy, by a pinkie promise.
"Thank you for being ready to defend my daughters at any cost."
"It was no big deal, you showed up before anything actually happened."
• You only showed up because you knew where they were hiding and saw how it quickly went to shit.
• She tried to get you to promise not to do that again, you denied it.
"If that ever happens again, I'll do it in a heart beat. So I can't."
• Realizes quickly you wouldn't let anyone mess with people you call your friends
• Even if meant facing certain death by angels.
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